What do you want to be when you grow up?

The question "What do you want to be when you grow up?" is one that has forever been rooted in the American psyche. A question that once seemed so innocent and inspired by imagination, but which somehow steamrolls out of control in your mid teens as your hormones lash out at you and destroy the balance of your ecosystem.

Suddenly you have no idea who you are let alone what you want to be and the pressure to discover the answer creates an unbearable amount of strain on your emotional and intellectual belief in yourself. And many times you fall. Or, begin embarking down the road of self-destruction because somewhere along the lines these questions "What do you want to be?" and "Who am I?" become an assumed necessary responsibility.

You search for the RIGHT answer day in and day out, and many times you lose yourself in depression, anxiety, addictions, and other self destructive behaviors that ultimately blind you from enjoying "Who you are and where you are at the moment."

I have always wanted to be a great many things, but the funniest and awesomest thing is that everything "I thought I wanted to be"turned into something better than a "job title".
Age 3: brain surgeon
Age 7: ballerina and art teacher
Age 14: actor/model
Age 16: doctor
Age 18: professional clarinetist
Age 22: editor
Age 26: happy

At the moment, I am happy and somewhere in the last two years I stopped associating "What I want to be with who I am." Freedom and inspiration followed as soon as I stopped boxing myself in.

The other day an associate who was having a hard day, said to me, "You're always so God damn happy. I don't get that. You're always laughing."

I wanted to say a lot, but instead I just smiled at him and said. "It's a choice."

Yes crap happens, but as soon as you let go of trying to "control" everything and everyone. You discover how freaking amazing things can be and how freaking amazing you are and the power that you have to take on challenges that are really freaking painful.

So as I learn to appreciate and accept that I am not definable by a category, and that "Who I am" is not a question that needs an answer. I am able to acknowledge that I am a powerful being whose talents are to be used to show love, gratitude, and compassion for people and experiences that occur along the trail of life.

Life doesn't have a pause button, it's happening right now and you are who you need to be right now. No translations necessary.